A couple of weekends ago I went on another marathon. Surprise, surprise it wasn’t K-drama; instead it was The Walking Dead. Being one of the households without “real” cable e.g. channels beyond broadcast ones, I’m only on Season 2 compliments of Netflix. So unless you haven’t seen S2, no spoilers will follow.

A good story draws you in and makes you place yourself in it. The Walking Dead successfully does that. Every step of the way I felt invested in the decisions that needed to be made. And found that maybe, just maybe, I’m not such a nice person after all.

Moral dilemma #1 – Leave the little girl
So the 9-year-old girl traveling with the not-so-merry band of survivors goes missing in the zombie-filled woods. After she never shows up at the meeting spot she is told to go to, common sense would tell you she’s already dead. Why waste several days looking for her? Sorry kid. I’d have given it a day and then moved everyone on.

Moral dilemma #2 – Abort the baby
Why would you bring a new life into this madness? Not to mention endangering every other person traveling with you who didn’t ask for their already disrupted lives to be even more disrupted. That oopsie child who was probably conceived with your husband’s best friend–sorry, consider the greater good.

Moral dilemma #3 – Burn the zombie-filled barn
Hello, that ain’t grandma no more! She will try to eat you. Kill or be killed. Wake up and smell the coffee Mr. Farmer man. Yes, I know you should respect your elders and your hosts when you’re guests. But this is one time I’d have to be rude. You’re endangering the lives of people. Greater good rules. Safety first.

Moral dilemma #4 -Don’t sleep with that b*tch
Men, I know any opportunity for available sex is tempting. But really Glenn, I just wanted you to have a little more self respect. This heifer basically said sure I’ll do it with you because you’re the last resort and I’m horny. Okay in other words, in a normal world, no I would not even consider your @ss as a potential mate. If she wouldn’t give you the time of day pre-zombie world don’t be so easy now.

Moral dilemma #5 – Gotta get the kid the medical supplies
The zombies are closing in rapidly. The kid I love needs these medical supplies. Basically someone is going to die today. It’s not going to be me and damn sure not a kid I care about. Yep, I’d have fed this person I barely know to the zombies, too, if it would save my life and my loved one’s life.

I’m quickly losing any illusion that I’m a nice person with a comfy seat waiting for me in heaven.

Moral dilemma #6 – Kill the teenage hoodlum
First of all he had already tried to shoot me. As if he wouldn’t try it again. Secondly he was hanging out with a bunch of really bad dudes who also tried to kill me. Why does there need to be a vote? I may have kept him around just in case at some point we needed to feed some zombies. Again, this is a clear case choosing the greater good of saving the good people who’ve had your back on this hellacious road trip.

Moral dilemma #7 – Go back to save your troop
The zombies have taken the farm, the barn and all the other “safe” havens. In the confusion, all my road dawgs have gotten separated. Go back to save who? This ain’t the Marines, son. Uh, what did we learn with the missing little girl? That’s right most likely whoever got left behind is zombie food. Sorry, keep it moving to Fort Benning.

Bring on Season 3.

Meanwhile pray we don’t have a real zombie apocalypse. If I survive it, I’m not sure my soul would.