This time I’m taking you inside a place some of you may never have been in before. Bear with me. This rant was a long time coming. So let’s take a trip inside the ladies room.

ALERT: THIS POST MAY CONTAIN POTTY HUMOR. (Not really)

The people that design bathroom stalls or who place them in their facilities need to understand this. There are certain elements that are necessities for women—not luxuries. Although I know the queue for the ladies room will probably never be eliminated, if all public bathrooms had these basics I bet time spent in the lines waiting for a stall would at least be lessened.

Here are our musts:

• A flat surface, preferably a separate shelf to set a purse, makeup bag, air spray or sanitary items on. (No, the top of the in-stall trash can doesn’t work for this purpose.)
• A built-in trash can in the stall. With disposable bags that fit properly. Otherwise you’ll have a worse mess to clean up.
• One or preferably two coat hooks—one for the winter coat, the other for the purse and shopping bags if no shelf is available.
• Seat covers that are easy to pull out of the dispenser and place on the seat easily. (Borders Bookstore used to have the easiest seat cover machines ever. I hate they are now shuttered).

Photos taken at RDU Airport. They have the best bathrooms where everything is automatic (sinks, paper dispenser, blowers) and there’s even enough space to take your luggage in with you.

Bathroom Cleaning Crews

And another thing. In my former office building I could always tell which gender cleaned the restrooms.

The men, clearly not understanding our need to have an empty flat surface to set things on while we’re in there, would inevitably leave an extra roll of toilet paper on the only flat surfaces available–the toilet paper holder or the top of the trash. I know the guys probably thought they were being helpful since the women ran through toilet paper like water and the guys didn’t (or at least that’s what I hear). But that extra roll was taking up treasured space.

When women cleaned the bathroom, it was placed any where except on the flat surface. And, they only left an extra roll if the current roll was REALLY low.

I still don’t understand why public stalls are so open. Why can’t the doors and walls go all the way to the floor? Why is there always enough room to see “that one panicked eye” (thanks Jerry Seinfeld) through the cracks?

Obviously I must have too much time on my hands while I’m in public restrooms.

Inspired by The Daily Post