I have no lovely year-in-the-life recap for 2024. This year had its ups: I enjoyed a beautiful reunion with several lifelong friends. I met and made new friends. I traveled. I finally felt in a flow and doing work I was excited about.
And it had downs: One of my brothers has cancer. The doctors say it’s the kind you can live with when caught in early stage. I still struggled with my mother’s death even after two years.
And just when I started thriving
It was my first overseas hot girl summer trip since 2019. Unfortunately I arrived home with a nasty little hitchhiker, my first case of COVID. To make it four years without me or my parents catching it was lucky and a blessing.
Then, while I was still battling COVID, I got laid off from the place where I worked for 20 years. I quickly texted a friend who replied teasingly with a quote from the movie Friday.
“How the hell you get fired on your day off?”
Craig’s Dad (played by John Witherspoon)
It was the laugh I needed at that moment. Instead of worrying, I focused on getting better. I needed to go see my 88-year-old widower Dad whom I hadn’t seen in a month. I didn’t want to chance infecting him.
A few days later I finally tested negative. On a mission to visit Dad, I put on a hospital-grade N95 mask I kept for special occasions. He hadn’t sounded too good when I spoke with him by phone the night before. I was worried. Shortly after I arrived at his place, EMS placed him in an ambulance and headed to a hospital. They moved him to another hospital for surgery. I stayed by him for four days until he went to take his place as an ancestor.
Just 10 days. That’s the timeframe all of this took place in. I started calling it the Great Reset.
What’s next?
Although I’m a writer, I don’t yet have the flowery words of wisdom I see on LinkedIn posts. There is no optimistic plans to share yet. No insight, no wisdom, no coping skills. They’ll come eventually. Right now, I dread facing a brutal job search in this market without hugs and comforting words from my two biggest fans. I’m still deep in the middle of the paperwork of passing⎯estate stuff.
While I’m thankful for everyone checking for me during the holidays, I don’t want to feel forced into faux joy. Or having to hold up my end of a conversation. Living honestly and authentically is still important to me. Especially when I see more and more fakeness in the world. Slightly ironic considering I have a great interest in AI.
Like so many others I know, I’m just grappling with surviving the holidays without loved ones. I’m grateful I had Mama until she was 82 years and Daddy until 88 years. Living the rest of my lifetime without the people who brought me here is still mind-blowing.
Getting through one day at a time is enough. It’s okay to not be okay.
Pinkpodster Ponders 